What Is a Bridesmaid Responsible for Doing? Every Duty Explained

Being a bridesmaid is an important and meaningful role, whether you're the one asking a close friend to stand by your side or you're the one stepping into those shoes yourself. But, what is a bridesmaid, exactly? While it's undoubtedly fun and exciting (ahem, bachelorette party, ahem), the role also comes with important duties you won't want to overlook.

Each bride may define bridesmaids differently, but in general—alongside the maid of honor—being a bridesmaid entails wearing a lot of different hats leading up to the wedding day, including pseudo-wedding planner, event host and unofficial therapist. To make sure you know everything you need to know about the roles of bridesmaids, we're outlining all of the possible bridesmaid responsibilities and basic bridesmaid etiquette—plus, we've asked wedding planning and etiquette experts for their tips on how to realistically juggle it all.

Exactly what do bridesmaids do? Read on to find out!

In this article:

• What Does Being a Bridesmaid Mean?
• Save This Bridesmaid Duties Checklist
• Prewedding Bridesmaid Duties
• Bridesmaid Duties on the Day of the Wedding
• Postwedding Bridesmaid Duties

What Does Being a Bridesmaid Mean?

Photo: Tamara Gruner Photography

In the simplest terms, the bridesmaid definition is a person who is asked to participate in the wedding. As for who are the bridesmaids, they're generally the most important people in the to-be-wed's circle of loved ones, such as best friends or relatives (sisters, sisters-in-law, etc.). They are part of the wedding party, which usually consists of the maid or matron of honor, best man, groomsmen and other attendants chosen by the couple. Bridesmaids help plan and attend prewedding events, stand at the altar during the ceremony and assist with other wedding duties as needed.

FEATURED VIDEO FROM THE KNOT

"When you're asked to be a bridesmaid, you might find yourself feeling overjoyed and overwhelmed," says Jen Glantz, founder of Bridesmaid for Hire, a team of professional bridesmaids that provide services for weddings worldwide. "That's because there are no set guidelines for the role. Every time you say 'I do' to being a part of someone's bridal party, you might be asked to do a ton of different things and spend various amounts of money. But the heartbeat of being a bridesmaid is just being a good friend to the person getting married. That's all that should matter," says Glantz.

Both the bride and her BFFs should take some time to think about the bridesmaid meaning and what a bridesmaid is supposed to do. If you've been asked to be a bridesmaid, Glantz recommends asking the bride or couple for their bridesmaid expectations before making any decisions and considering whether or not you can realistically handle the role. "Resentment happens weeks into being a bridesmaid when you hear how much the role will cost you and how many different activities you have to participate in," says Glantz. "Tell the person getting married how grateful you are that they asked you to be their bridesmaid and then ask what they had in mind for the role. Based on what they share, be upfront about how much you can commit to right now, both time-wise and financially, based on what you have going on in your life."

Save This Bridesmaid Duties Checklist

Want to know everything about how to be a bridesmaid? Bookmark this printable bridesmaid checklist for your wedding Pinterest board so it's easy to find when you need a quick bridesmaid duties refresher.

Design: Nataline Romine

Prewedding Bridesmaid Duties

Photo: Tessa Tadlock

So, what are the responsibilities of a bridesmaid? Well, there's more to it than simply showing up on the wedding day (although that's a major part of it!). Planning a wedding involves a lot of moving parts, and your friend will likely need help and support along the way. "The best part of being a bridesmaid is that you're part of a team," says Glantz. "You don't have to take on everything, but you should take on something that compliments your skill set."

Let's discuss some bridesmaid duties before the wedding to keep in mind.

Send an engagement gift.

It's a nice gesture to send the couple a celebratory gift shortly after their engagement, even if an official bridesmaid proposal hasn't been made yet. To avoid making any presumptions, keep it simple with a bottle of bubbly or a bouquet of flowers and a nice handwritten note. If the to-be-weds have already decided who's in the wedding, one bridesmaid task might be to help plan an engagement party.

Shop for wedding day attire.

Once officially a bridesmaid, one of the first things to do is choose a wedding day outfit. In most cases, the couple will provide guidelines on what to wear, and there may even be a group shopping trip with all the bridesmaids. Whether matching bridesmaid dresses or individual attire, it's best to get this bridesmaid duty out of the way early before the wedding in case special items need to be ordered or alterations need to be made.

The bridesmaid may also be asked to help their bestie, aka the bride, find their wedding day attire. Some brides ask their bridesmaids to join them for wedding dress shopping appointments or to weigh in on different outfit options. If invited or asked for an opinion, it's best to stay positive. Offering negative feedback or opinions can confuse the bride and make the experience more stressful than it needs to be.

Book your wedding travel and accommodations.

If the wedding isn't taking place where you live, be sure to cross this bridesmaid responsibility off your list sooner rather than later. Book any flights and overnight accommodations as soon as you have the finalized wedding date (ask the couple about rehearsal dinner and postwedding brunch plans so you can be present for those, too).

Attend (and help plan) the bridal shower.

The maid of honor will lead the charge when it comes to planning the bridal shower, but there's a good chance the rest of the bridal party will be asked to help. The bridesmaid should be prepared to lend a hand for anything that the MOH needs, such as chipping in financially, helping to decorate the venue or arriving early to greet guests. She'll also need to bring a wedding shower gift but can consider giving a group gift with the rest of the bridesmaids.

Attend (and help plan) the bachelorette party.

The bachelorette party is another bridesmaid tradition on the list of prewedding responsibilities. Following the maid of honor's lead, the bridesmaid is expected to help plan—and pay for—the bachelorette party, which usually takes place a few months before the actual wedding day. All of the bridesmaids will be invited to the bachelorette party, and in most cases, will each pay for their own expenses while also pitching in to cover the bride's expenses. On top of that, they might be asked to help the maid of honor with various planning tasks, such as making reservations, buying decorations or using their spreadsheet skills to design a detailed itinerary for the group.

Attend the rehearsal dinner.

The to-be-weds will plan the rehearsal dinner, but the bridesmaid is expected to attend as part of her duties. The rehearsal dinner usually takes place the night before the wedding, following the run-through of the processional order and other ceremony details. There isn't much to do here except follow the suggested dress code, listen to the speeches (usually given by parents or other family members) and enjoy the meal. Word to the wise: Don't stay out too late to ensure being well-rested for the big day ahead.

Be there for moral support.

Aside from the obvious to-dos on the bridesmaid duties list, the most important thing is simply to be there for the bride throughout the wedding planning process. "Weddings can bring drama and stress into a person's life," says Glantz. She explains that showing up for an engaged friend, taking things off their to-do list, checking in on them and spending time with them during the wedding adventure can all make a difference.

Being supportive can be as simple as making time to meet for coffee, or it can be something more impactful, like writing funny wedding party bios for the couple's wedding website. "Good friends make great bridesmaids," adds Glantz. "Everything else is extra. It's when you layer on expectations, obligations, that complicates the role."

Bridesmaid Duties on the Day of the Wedding

Photo: Studio Zwerveling

"A bride will have plenty to juggle, so she will be counting on you when it comes to the details," says Lisa Mirza Grotts, a certified etiquette professional with more than 24 years of experience helping her clients navigate social situations and beyond. "Remember this: you are in it together until she reaches the altar, and then there's the reception! It may not be a paid job, but it's certainly a job—and an important one at that."

Whether it's the bridesmaid's first time in the role or they've done this before, here's a rundown of the most important jobs of a bridesmaid on the wedding day.

Get ready with the other bridesmaids.

Getting ready on the wedding day is just as important as the actual ceremony—not only is it a good time to help the bride combat any butterflies, but it's also a fun opportunity for the group to start the day on the right foot. The bridesmaid will most likely be expected to get ready with the rest of the bridal party and other loved ones, like the flower girl, mother of the bride and/or mother of the groom. She should plan for an early morning, especially if she's having her hair and makeup professionally done. Hair and makeup can take one or two hours per person—and everyone also needs to eat, get dressed and take pictures before the ceremony. Leading up to the wedding day, the bridesmaid should pack a bag with all of her essentials, including her attire, accessories and an emergency kit.

Give a wedding gift to the couple.

Yep, it's expected to give a wedding gift as a bridesmaid. If purchasing something from the couple's wedding registry, it can be sent directly to them before the wedding. But if giving a card with cash or another gift that can't be sent ahead of time, bring it on the wedding day and add it to their gift table at the reception. Lastly, depending on the bridesmaid's relationship with the bride, she can also surprise her with an extra, small gift on the wedding day.

Keep tabs on the wedding day timeline.

Knowing the wedding day timeline (or at least having it written down in your Notes App for easy access) is another important bridesmaid role. Remember, it's the bridesmaid's job to make the couple's life easier on the wedding day, which means knowing exactly where she needs to be and when—without having to be told. A bridesmaid should also be prepared to answer basic questions from wedding vendors, like where they can find the venue coordinator or when the newlyweds are scheduled to leave for the night.

Participate in the wedding ceremony.

During the wedding ceremony, the bridesmaid is expected to walk down the aisle (either by herself or with another person in the wedding party) and stand at the altar beside her BFF. Don't worry—she'll have rehearsed all of this ahead of time, so there won't be any surprises about what to do as a bridesmaid on the actual day. And if the bride needs a tissue or an encouraging smile as they say their vows, the bridesmaid will be right there to help them out. If the bride has a bouquet, the MOH or a bridesmaid usually holds it during the ceremony. She'll also be on outfit duty: making sure their train is fluffed, their veil is smoothed down and any other adjustments to help your friend look picture-perfect.

Be available for wedding photos.

The photographer might take some pictures throughout the morning, but the bulk of the photos are usually taken after the ceremony and sometimes into cocktail hour. Part of the bridesmaid duties on the wedding day is to stick around for group portraits as long as the photographer needs, which means possibly missing out on a few hors d'oeuvres. Make the process as quick as possible by cooperating with the wedding photographer, the wedding planner and the couple—there'll be plenty of time to party after!

Give a speech at the reception if the couple asks you.

At the wedding reception, the maid of honor, best man and parents are usually the ones to give speeches, but the couple may also ask the bridesmaid to say a few words. If that's the case, she should prepare a few words (use our easy wedding toast templates as a shortcut) and make sure to practice in advance. If not giving a speech, she must listen to the ones being given respectfully. Then, it's party time! The bridesmaid should bring positive energy to the reception by engaging with other guests and letting loose on the dance floor if she feels comfortable. Getting up and dancing will likely encourage other guests to join in, making the reception extra fun.

Check in with the newlyweds throughout the party.

Finally, the bridesmaid should check in on her friend to make sure they're getting enough water and food (and cocktails, too). They might be busy talking to guests or taking pictures, so passing them something to eat could make all the difference by the end of the night. "Manners are rent-free, so this is a wonderful opportunity to showcase yours," says Gotts. "It's [the bride's] day, so it's the time to pull out your magical powers and make it memorable." The bridesmaid should go the extra by helping with outfit changes, wedding dress bathroom breaks (IYKYK) and other thoughtful requests, like asking the wedding planner or caterer to pack up to-go boxes for the couple.

Postwedding Bridesmaid Duties

Photo: Lindsay Hackney Photography

The wedding is over, so now what should a bridesmaid do? There are still a few more loose ends to tie up before finishing the role as a bridesmaid—like checking in with the couple after the wedding to see if there's anything else they need and keeping these final bridesmaid responsibilities in mind, too.

Attend the farewell party (if there is one).

The couple might be hosting a farewell party or postwedding brunch the morning after the wedding. The bridesmaid is expected to attend, so she should know exactly when you need to be there to not be late! We know it might be tough to get out of bed after a late night, so we recommend setting an alarm the day before—and drinking water throughout the wedding reception to stave off a hangover. It's also nice if she texts the newlyweds to see if they need anything (like extra-large coffees delivered to their room). Then, she's free to enjoy the morning alongside her newly-married bestie.

Organize miscellaneous or leftover wedding items.

Maybe the bridesmaid helped take down decorations at the end of the wedding, or maybe she collected the couple's wedding gifts and cards during the reception for safekeeping. If any miscellaneous things need to be returned to the newlyweds or other bridesmaids, she should take time to organize them a few days after the wedding so as not to forget (or worse, misplace them).

Settle outstanding payments and other bills.

Don't wait too long after the wedding to close the loop on any remaining expenses that need to be split among the group. The bride's wedding mani-pedi bill, the rideshare taken with the other bridesmaids to the airport—whatever it may be, we encourage sending all Venmo requests sooner rather than later so no one is caught by surprise.

Additional reporting by Shyla Watson