How to (Kindly) Ask Parents for Money for the Wedding

Even if you feel relatively comfortable asking your parents for money, figuring out how to ask your parents for money for your wedding is usually a whole different ballgame. It's no small expense, after all, and the amount you're able to spend will guide and guide and affect every subsequent decision. But if you're not realistically able to afford the entire wedding on your own, you and your partner may be wondering how to ask parents for wedding money. We know that it's a sensitive topic, so the most important thing is to approach the discussion with an open mind and a respectful attitude. And because how you start the conversation also makes a big difference, we've outlined examples of exactly what to say, along with what you'll want to consider before deciding to ask your loved ones to chip in.

In this article: How Many Parents Contribute Financially? | Average Amount Parents Contribute to Wedding | How to Ask Parents for Money for the Wedding | Wording Examples for Asking Parents About Wedding Money

How Many Parents Contribute Financially to the Wedding?

Because of the age-old traditions surrounding what a groom's family pays for and what the bride's parents pay for, it's very common for parents to contribute to the wedding. In fact, according to The Knot 2025 Real Weddings Study, which surveyed nearly 17,000 couples, 86% of parents contributed to wedding costs last year. That said, times change—and you're not required to stick to tradition when it comes to which set of parents pays for what. "In today's world, the question of who pays for a wedding is less about customs and more about practicality," says "The Golden Rules Gal" Lisa Grotts, a renowned etiquette expert. "Financial roles are no longer fixed; they're flexible and shared." According to Grotts, you shouldn't feel tied to any set of rules, especially since some of them can feel a little outdated or impractical by today's standards. Ultimately, we're in support of deciding what works best for your own situation or cultural background.

Average Amount Parents Contribute to the Wedding

Now that you know how many parents contribute to weddings, you're likely wondering how much parents contribute to weddings. According to our data, parents paid for 51% of the wedding budget on average, with couples covering the remaining 49% of the cost. The key word here is average—the specific wedding budget breakdown will be different for every couple, and some couples may not have a financial contribution from their parents or family members at all. Keep in mind that your wedding budget will also fluctuate depending on your location, guest count and desired style, which could impact how much money (if at all) your parents contribute.

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How to Ask Parents for Money for the Wedding

Our biggest piece of advice? When in doubt, talk it out. "Early and honest conversations about money can help avoid stress later," says Grotts. "Clarity creates harmony, and nothing says 'gracious couple' like transparency with a side of gratitude." Before you jump into the chat, make sure you've checked the boxes below.

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1. Discuss it with your partner first

Before you approach asking for money from parents, it's important that you and your partner are in total agreement about doing so. You should both be on the same page about accepting money from family members who are willing to contribute. Figure out exactly what you're hoping to accomplish when asking parents for money for your wedding. Are you asking them to contribute toward a weekend-long celebration with multiple events, a destination wedding with travel expenses or simply some extra funds to cover the cost of your reception?

2. Set your ideal budget and guest list

Take some time to outline what your ideal wedding budget and guest list would look like before you approach your parents for wedding money. According to our data, the average wedding cost was $33,000 in 2024, but the budget breakdown for each vendor will change depending on what's most important to you. When you're thinking about how to ask parents for wedding money, consider choosing a few must-haves and agreeing on where you'd be willing to compromise. Create a mock wedding budget based on what you'd be able to afford without help from parents, and consider anything they're able to contribute as an added bonus. As you brainstorm, use The Knot Budget Advisor to see wedding budget estimates based on what real couples in your area typically spend. Remember that your guest list will have a big impact on your overall wedding cost, so we also recommend picking a ballpark number of people you'd like to invite while you're at it.

3. Practice the conversation ahead of time

Since you'll be leading the discussion, it's important to have a plan of what, exactly, you'll be asking of your parents. It might feel unnatural to be direct when asking for money, but taking the initiative to be clear about your wedding goals will eliminate any confusion and ultimately help you get a yes or no answer. It's also respectful to give your parents a heads up that you'd like to talk about wedding planning so you can agree on an appropriate time that works for everyone. Plan to go into the conversation with a few concrete examples of wedding costs—this will help your parents decide if it's doable for them to contribute toward some or all of the bill.

4. Have the talk face to face

When asking parents about wedding money, it's crucial to have the discussion in person. "Weddings and finances can be challenging topics to navigate and discuss," says Hayes. "Combine the two, and there's great potential for tension, contention, conflict and disagreement." That said, the last thing you want to do is have this chat via text message, a route that leaves even more room for misunderstandings and mixed signals.

5. Approach the conversation with gratitude and respect

Once it's time to sit down and have the chat, don't forget to go into it with a gracious and respectful tone. "No matter the method, always lead with appreciation, not assumption. Generosity should never be expected—it should be respected," says Grotts. This means presenting your ask without a demanding or entitled tone, even if the answer isn't what you hoped. If your parents do say "no" to your request or don't offer as much as you hoped, don't pressure or guilt trip them. "Be calm, mature and respectful," says Hayes. "It's ok to express disappointment, but smile and trust that your wedding day will happen in the perfect way, another way."

6. Be specific about your vision and how they can help

Remember: Clarity is key. Present your parents with vendor quotes and discuss additional details that might impact your overall budget, like getting married on a popular Saturday date during peak wedding season. Come prepared with a list of bullet points to go over during your talk, including how you envision splitting the payments, what the money would be used for and how you'll take their opinions into account (which you should be willing to do in return for anyone who's contributing financially). Maybe you can cover the cost of a wedding photographer on your own, but you need financial help from your family to secure the deposit for your dream venue.

7. Keep them involved throughout the planning process

Once you've figured out how to ask parents for wedding money and they've agreed to contribute, it's important to keep them in the loop throughout the planning process. Traditionally, whoever gives money to the wedding also has a say in details like the guest list and other hidden wedding costs that are directly impacted by their contribution. If your parents are helping pay for the wedding, it's important to take their ideas into consideration, especially if they're paying for a specific service or vendor (think bands, florists or caterers). They'll appreciate having some input in how their money is spent, so listen to their thoughts and aim for ways to compromise so that everyone feels included.

Wording Examples for Asking Parents About Wedding Money

It's best to be straightforward when asking your family for wedding money, but figuring out how to do that politely is a whole different story. Here are some templates straight from Hayes and Grotts themselves.

How to Ask Parents for a General Wedding Contribution

Asking your parents to review your wedding budget is an easy way to start the conversation. If they don't offer financial help after reviewing the budget, ask them directly if they would be able to pay for some of the expenses.

• "We are planning the wedding and would love your support. Would you be open to contributing in a way that feels comfortable to you?"
• "We're hoping you might be able to help cover some of the wedding costs. This is the early breakdown of the budget we're aiming toward. Are you in a position to help with this?"
• "We've prepared a general wedding budget and would appreciate your help reviewing it. Will you be able to contribute financially at all to our day?"

How to Ask Parents to Pay for a Specific Wedding Vendor

Some parents prefer to know exactly how their money will be used toward your wedding budget. If they want some say in how the money is spent, you can ask them to help you cover the cost of a specific vendor or other expense (but keep in mind that this gives them the right to weigh in on the final decision for that category).

• "We've found a photographer that we love, but it's a little over our price range. Would you consider covering that cost as our wedding gift?"
• "We've broken the budget down, and we're hoping you might be in a position to cover the cost of the reception. It is, by far, the biggest expense, and we'd be so grateful for your help with this."
• "We're footing the bill for the reception, but we're wondering if you might be able to help cover the cost of the ceremony?"

How to Ask Parents to Split the Wedding Cost Equally

If you're asking both sets of parents to contribute, or if you're wedding planning with divorced parents talking to them separately, divide the budget into halves or quarters to keep an even playing field.

• "We'd like to divide the wedding expenses evenly between families. Do you feel that's fair?"
• "We're asking each of our parents to contribute to one quarter of the wedding budget. Is this something you can help with?"
• "We're so grateful for your support and willingness to help with costs. We're thinking it's most fair if both sides split the bill of $____ equally. Would you be willing to cover half?"

How to Ask Parents if They Can Contribute Financially at All

Your parents might not be able to contribute money, and that's okay. Approach them with the goal of finding out how involved they want to be with the wedding, financially or not. This question opens up the conversation and gives them an opportunity to share other ways they'd like to help with the planning process.

• "We were hoping to chat with you about our wedding budget and see if you're in a position to help cover some of the costs. We'd be so grateful for any help you can give us."
• "As you know, a wedding isn't cheap, and we'd be so grateful for any financial contribution to our wedding budget. Are you in a position to help?"
• "How would you like to be included in wedding planning? Are you willing or able to contribute financially, and what would that process look like for you?"

Additional reporting by Samantha Iacia.