The Hands-Down Best Advice for Engaged Couples, According to The Knot Editors

It's (quite literally) our job.
woman in restuarant getting proposed to
Photo Credit: Shutterstock, Getty | Design: Tiana Crispino
Jamie Cuccinelli the knot writer and wedding expert
by
Jamie Cuccinelli
Jamie Cuccinelli the knot writer and wedding expert
Jamie Cuccinelli
Senior Editor, Sex & Relationships
  • Jamie is a Senior Editor for The Knot where she oversees all sex and relationship editorial content.
  • Before joining The Knot Worldwide, she worked with an array of digital publications that include Brides, The Zoe Report, Bustle and MyDomaine.
  • Jamie graduated with a degree in English and Media, Culture & Communications from New York University.
Updated Jul 17, 2024

Once you stop getting constantly distracted by the new bling on your finger, all the congratulatory texts are answered and requisite photos posted, you may be wondering just WTH comes next. Understandable! This is all new after all. So we're here to help with some advice for engaged couples that you—not to brag—will probably want to bookmark.

Before you and your brand-spankin' new fiancé (spoiler: you'll never get sick of saying that) jump right into planning mode, take a beat to slow down, celebrate and learn how to best navigate this incredibly special time in your life. You'll likely save yourselves some stress and missteps, and who better to borrow tips from The Knot editors themselves? When it comes to relationship advice for engaged couples or general tricks of the trade, it's all—quite literally—our job.

So what's the best-of-the-best advice for engaged couples that we've gathered over the years, whether through our own relationships or the ins and outs of our careers? Below, find the very much expert-approved engagement advice for couples that'll get you from the ring selfie to the "I dos" in one piece.

1. Keep the News on the DL

While you may want to shout your engagement from the rooftops (fair!), you may want to consider keeping the news on the down-low for a little while—even if it's just for a day or two. "It was a tiny thing but something that made a huge difference to my fiancé and I," says Content Marketing Analyst Ben Herbert. "A friend told us, 'Keep as much of the day to yourselves with no one else knowing. Cherish it before you are ready to tell people as once the news is out there you will be inundated with calls and messages."

2. Figure Out Your Wedding Priorities

Leave it to our Senior Weddings Editor Hannah Nowack to deliver when it comes advice for newly engaged couples. "It's time to reframe the idea of a 'perfect wedding' into a 'perfect-for-you wedding,'" she says, encouraging couples to stay true to themselves when planning their nuptials. "The minute you get engaged you'll certainly face a barrage of unsolicited advice, but it's okay to tune out the advice that doesn't suit you and lean into planning a celebration that reflects your relationship and your priorities."

Take time to align with your partner on these priorities and guidelines, Nowack advises. Start by asking yourselves the most basic of questions: Why are you getting married? "You could even write a wedding mission statement if you want to. Once you have clarity on your why, you can dive into planning."

3. Don't Forget to Celebrate Your Engagement

While you may already be looking ahead—and it's great that you're excited about the next chapter of your relationship!—remaining present and celebrating this particular time is also just as important. "As someone who was quite literally just engaged a little over a week ago, take time to debrief and enjoy the engagement itself," says Planning & Style Content Strategist Taylor Whitten. (Congrats, by the way!) "Not to get sappy, but life moves too quickly to not revel in such a special moment with the person you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with."

Fresh off her proposal, Whitten has been experiencing what many to-be-weds go through: a flurry of (well-meaning) questions about what lies ahead. "We pretty much immediately got asked when and where the wedding would be. No shade to our loved ones—we know they were just excited—but that can be pretty overwhelming when you are simply trying to wrap your head around the new title of fiancé."

"Take a beat and consider if you want an engagement party to celebrate the exciting milestone," Whitten suggests. "After enjoying the moment, sit down with your partner and align on how you both envision the day. What is most important to each of you? Do you both care the most about photos? Food? Flowers? Bookmark vendors to ensure you secure your top choices, knowing that they could possibly be booked out months to years in advance. Start poking around The Knot Vendor Marketplace, which is full of pros to bring your wedding dreams to life!"

4. Put Boundaries on Planning Talk

Trust us: It'll be tempting to center convos around your upcoming nuptials whenever you're with your partner. Wedding planning talk has a way of creeping up, we get it! But this can quickly become tiresome or overwhelming. "Wedding planning can be a mix of emotions for people," explains Director of Marketing & Editorial Operations Sam Langabeer. "For those natural planning personalities, it's potentially the most exciting and fun event you will ever plan. However, for those who don't thrive in the details, wedding planning can be overwhelming."

Soon after getting engaged, have a conversation with your partner about your planning preferences, expectations of one another and any boundaries you want to or need to set for your mental health. "In our case, planning an event brings me immense joy and I could talk about every little detail and the thought that goes into it," says Langabeer. Not surprising considering her job, amiright? "My husband? He's a go-with-the-flow big-picture guy, so constantly talking details was too much for him. The best thing we did was commit to a certain amount of time each week that was 'Wedding Planning Hour.'"

According to Langabeer, "This meant no TV, no phones, only undivided attention to each other to make quick decisions. Outside of that designated time, we really tried to limit the tactical talk."

Setting boundaries around and putting aside designated time for wedding planning will prevent feelings of burnout and keep joy and excitement a part of the whole undertaking.

6. Do Your Research

"Do some research about what goes into the process!" says MaryKate Callahan, Director of Content Strategy at The Knot. "Yes, we all know the general gist of wedding planning—thank you for your service, rom-coms!—but it's not all cake tastings and picking out color palettes," she points out. "There's more to it, like finding wedding vendors that fit your vibe, setting a realistic budget and making sure the wedding your planning is true to you and your partner's wedding vision."

"Take some time at the beginning of the process to get the lay of the land and preview some of the decisions that will be coming your way. Wondering where to get started? The very best wedding planning content on the internet is right here on this website (go ahead and bookmark theknot.com/content, why not!)"

7. Schedule Dates and Quality Time

Emily Dumas, a Senior Content Strategist at The Knot, says to never lose sight of your partner through the occasionally overwhelming and increasingly busy wedding planning journey. Despite of your new fiancé status, "Never stop 'dating' your partner," Dumas says. "As someone who has been engaged for over a year, I always like to remind my fiancé that we're never not dating even though we're engaged and even once we're married.

From simple game nights to setting aside time for conversation and reconnection, routinely pausing planning to recalibrate focus on nurturing your relationship should be a priority. "Don't get me wrong, I love wedding planning and counting down until I'm officially married," she says. "But it's so important to continue to date one another and enjoy each new chapter of your relationship."

Dumas suggests having a date night every month leading up to your wedding, on the day of the month you're to be married. "Almost like a pre-anniversary celebration leading up to the big day!"

8. Consider Couple's Therapy

This one comes courtesy of yours truly, The Knot's Senior Sex & Relationships Editor. Contary to what may be popular belief, you need not be in crisis mode to seek the guidance of a couple's therapist. Hopefully, by the time you're engaged, you and your partner have aligned on your goals, hopes for the future and preferred communication styles—but there's always more to learn, and a couple's therapist can assist you in things like early conflict resolution and lead you through discussions you may not have had before, such as money management and how individual traumas can impact your relationship. Learning and bettering these communication skills now can be beneficial down the line.

Think about it like this: Isn't it easier to exercise and care for yourself when you're already relatively healthy, as opposed to when you're feeling ill? The same can be said for therapy. Attending couple's therapy when you and your partner are healthy, happy and communicative can set you up for future success—and the smoothest of engagements and wedding planning journeys. Congrats, y'all!

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