From classic rock to bumpin' new pop songs, here's a curated list of crowd-pleasers.
Updated Mar 06, 2025What Is Reassurance in a Relationship? What It Is and How to Create It
There is nothing wrong with needing reassurance in a relationship and it can be a healthy way to foster intimacy and trust.
Photo: Stocksy
Have you ever changed your hair and hoped your partner would comment on how attractive you look? Or wanted your partner to tell you all the reasons they love you even though they've told you many times before? If so, you might be seeking reassurance in a relationship.
Everyone wants to feel valued and understood, and providing reassurance in a relationship is one way to do that. Reassurance is essential for fostering trust, emotional security and connection in a relationship. Whether verbal affirmations, physical gestures or simply being present, reassurance is crucial in maintaining a healthy and secure relationship. However, understanding the balance between healthy reassurance and over-reliance on it is key.
In this article:
- What is Reassurance in a Relationship?
- Why Is Reassurance Important in a Relationship?
- Is Reassurance in a Relationship Healthy?
- How to Give Reassurance in a Relationship
- How to Ask for Reassurance From Your Partner
- How to Stop Needing Reassurance in a Relationship
What is Reassurance in a Relationship?
Reassurance in a relationship is about the verbal, emotional and physical affirmations that help partners feel secure and valued. "Reassurance in a relationship is that little but powerful reminder that you and your partner are solid," says Dr. Kimberly Jenkins-Richardson, a licensed professional counselor-supervisor. Jenkins-Richardson says it goes beyond saying "I love you" and extends to showing up consistently in ways that build trust and security. It can take many forms, such as expressing love, offering support or reaffirming commitment.
FEATURED VIDEO FROM THE KNOT
Why Is Reassurance Important in a Relationship?
Reassurance is vital because it helps maintain emotional security and trust. It provides comfort during moments of doubt or insecurity and strengthens the foundation of a relationship. When partners feel reassured, they are more likely to communicate openly, build deeper emotional intimacy and navigate conflicts with greater ease. Regularly reassuring your partner can also help improve your overall relationship satisfaction.
Is Reassurance in a Relationship Healthy?
For the most part, reassurance in a relationship can be a healthy thing when requested and given in moderation. "Reassurance is healthy when it's a natural, mutual part of the relationship, not something one person is constantly begging for," Jenkins-Richardson says. "It becomes unhealthy if it turns into a never-ending cycle of one partner having to prove their love over and over. The goal is a dynamic where both people feel secure—not one person carrying all the emotional weight."
If one partner frequently needs reassurance in a relationship, it may be rooted in deep-seated insecurities, self-doubt or anxiety that require personal reflection or professional support. In a healthy relationship, reassurance should be reciprocal versus one partner constantly needing reassurance to feel secure.
How to Give Reassurance in a Relationship
Providing reassurance in a relationship involves thoughtful communication and actions that reinforce love and trust. Reassurance may also look different in every relationship depending on one's needs and personality.
Examples of Reassurance in a Relationship
These are a few examples of reassurance in a relationship that may help your partner feel seen and loved.
Verbal Affirmation: Offering reassurance can look like a verbal affirmation, especially if words of affirmation is your partner's primary love language. "I appreciate you" and "We're in this together" are some simple phrases that can have a major impact, Jenkins-Richardson says. Telling your partner you love them can also be a powerful verbal affirmation when it's backed by actions.
Tangible Actions: Another way to reassure your partner is by taking action. Offer tangible reassurance by offering help proactively, looking for ways to make their load lighter or buying gifts that meet needs they've expressed, can show them you're still committed and present. If acts of service make your partner feel loved, that's an added bonus.
Being Reliable: Nothing says "I'm present in this relationship" like being reliable and having integrity. Doing what you say you will and being consistent in words and actions, can assure your partner they're valued and loved. "Keep your word. Follow through. That's one of the most powerful forms of reassurance," Jenkins-Richardson says.
Paying Attention to Details: Love is often in the details, and so is reassurance. Paying attention to details can help offer your loved one reassurance. Sending your partner a text to say you're thinking of them, bringing their favorite snack and checking how they're doing during a tough day are all examples of paying attention to detail, Jenkins-Richardson says. Simple gestures such as active listening, physical affection and words of affirmation can make a significant impact. Reassuring your partner doesn't mean solving all their problems, but rather validating their emotions and reminding them of your commitment and care.
How to Ask for Reassurance From Your Partner
It's natural to need reassurance from time to time, and communicating this need is important. Asking for reassurance can also create space for healthy dialogue and emotional support. "Asking for reassurance doesn't mean you're needy. We all need it sometimes. The key is how you ask," Jenkins-Richardson says.
If you're wondering how to ask for reassurance, instead of demanding validation, express your feelings honestly. For example, you could tell your partner, "I've been feeling a little insecure lately—can you remind me why you love me?" You may also say, "I love when you tell me how you feel about me. It makes me feel connected to you," Jenkins-Richardson explains.
How to Stop Needing Reassurance in a Relationship
While needing occasional reassurance is normal, relying on it constantly can signal deeper insecurities. In terms of how to stop needing reassurance in a relationship, building self-confidence, practicing self-love and developing a secure attachment style are some options. If feelings of insecurity persist, speaking to an individual or couples therapist can be beneficial. Remember, reassurance should be a source of comfort, not a necessity for self-worth.
"At the end of the day, reassurance is about connection. It's not about proving love—it's about making sure both you and your partner feel seen, safe and secure," Jenkins-Richardson says. "Relationships take work, but they shouldn't feel like an emotional guessing game. When you both feel supported, loved and valued, that's when you both win."
