20 Relationship Check-In Questions for Couples to Grow Stronger

Nothing says having relationship skills like checking in on your partner about how they are, your relationship goals, initiating the monthly talk about finances or even asking if they're sexually satisfied. And sure, bringing up these (sometimes hard) topics might seem nerve-wracking—but it's all about having the right relationship check-in questions to ask.

"A relationship check-in is an opportunity for couples to connect and mindfully communicate openly about their relationship," says Katie Dissanayake, a relationship coach and the founder of After, the anti-ghosting dating app.

According to her, good relationship check-in questions create an intentional conversation where partners can share their feelings, reflect on their dynamic together and of course, address any challenges or areas for growth. "Think of it as a routine tune-up to ensure the relationship is running smoothly," she explains.

Whether you're looking to strengthen your relationship of 20+ years or you want to move your situationship to a more serious relationship status, using our expert-approved twenty questions for a relationship check-in is sure to help.

In this article:

• Daily Relationship Check-In Questions
• Weekly Relationship Check-In Questions
• Monthly Relationship Check-In Questions

Daily Relationship Check-In Questions

Yes, there are different times (and frequencies) for when to check in with your partner. And what you both choose truly depends on you and your relationship. But if you think you both might be into a daily format, this is for you.

"Daily check-ins serve three main purposes: understanding your partner's current state of mind to better support them, setting a positive and fun tone for your relationship and staying connected with each other's daily lives," Dissanayake explains.

These questions shouldn't be too intense or high-stakes but should foster intimacy and understanding. Here are some daily relationship check-in questions to consider:

• How did you sleep?
• How's your social battery today?
• What are you most excited about today?
• What's your day like in an emoji?
• What's your rose, thorn and bud of the day? (A classic for a reason, asking someone for their rose, thorn and bud refers to checking in on their favorite thing that happened that day, a challenge and something that's making them excited for the future.)
• What's your word of the day?
• What are you craving today?

Weekly Relationship Check-In Questions

Next up: weekly relationship check-in questions. Maybe daily feels like too often for you and your partner(s). If so, these are for you. "Weekly relationship check-in questions are a chance to go slightly deeper than daily conversations, reflecting on the past week while planning for the one ahead," Dissanayake says.

These healthy relationship check-in questions are a way to maintain emotional intimacy, track shared goals and address any areas for improvement without feeling overwhelmed.

• What's something we did really well together this week?
• Is there anything I did this week that made you feel especially loved or appreciated?
• Did anything happen this week that you wish we had handled differently?
• What's a fun date we should plan soon?
• What are some goals you have for the upcoming year?

Monthly Relationship Check-In Questions

Maybe daily or weekly check-ins still feel too frequent (or not as deep as you're looking to go). Enter: monthly relationship check-in questions. According to Dissanayake, monthly check-ins allow for reflection on deeper aspects of your relationship and can help you stay aligned with each other's needs and growth. Here are some of our fave go-to questions:

• How do you feel about our communication lately?
• How are you feeling about how much time we're spending together?
• Are we going in a direction that excites you?
• Is there anything you wish we'd do more often together?
• Are we balancing our shared responsibilities (e.g., chores, finances, etc.) in a fair way?
• Would you want to create a vision board for our goals together?
• What is a relationship mantra we can set this month?
• Can I talk to you about that concern from last month?