42 “Wedding Crashers” Quotes That’ll Influence You to Rewatch

No invite? No problem! Wedding Crashers proved you don't need an invitation to enjoy a plate of prime rib, groove on the dance floor and indulge in a piece of cake. As some of our favorite Wedding Crashers quotes show, all you have to do is wear snappy duds, add a dash of bravado and remember the essential rules. The result? Happily ever after—almost. So, if you need inspiration for your next Instagram post this wedding season, check out the best Wedding Crashers lines that'll leave you rolling with laughter and ready to watch the movie all over again on date night.

Wedding Crashers lines and quotes fans love: The Best Overall | Funny | From Vince Vaughn | From Owen Wilson | Best Will Ferrell | Rules

Best Wedding Crashers Quotes

When this romcom-meets-bromance first hit the big screen, Wedding Crashers gave guests and surprise crashers everything they needed to make the most of the getting-hitched season. Here are some of the best Wedding Crashers wedding quotes that are more entertaining to repeat and share than wedding vows will ever be (just kidding).

Design: Natalie Romine

1. "You know how they say we only use 10% of our brains? I think we only use 10% of our hearts." – John Beckwith
2. "You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!" – Mrs. Kroeger
3. "Yeah! Crab cakes and football. That's what Maryland does!" – Flip
4. "You're like that crazy guest who thinks he's part of the family already." – Claire Cleary
5. "Death, you are my bitch lover!" – Todd Cleary
6. "Don't ever leave me…'Cause I'd find you!" – Gloria Cleary
7. "True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another." – John Beckwith
8. "Love doesn't exist, that's what I'm trying to tell you guys. And I'm not picking on love, 'cause I don't think friendship exists either." – John Beckwith
9. "I made you a painting. I call it 'Celebration.' It's sexual and violent. I thought you might like it." – Todd Cleary
10. "Whatever. Make me a bicycle, clown." – Young boy at the wedding reception

Wedding Crashers Funny Lines

It's hard to say what the funniest Wedding Crashers movie quotes are, but we took a stab at it. Here are the top seven funny lines that made the cut.

11. "I'm just warming up. Last week I did an exact [balloon] replica, to scale, of Wrigley Field. Honest to God. I don't have anywhere to put it." – Jeremy Grey
12. "I'm sorry I called you a hillbilly. I don't even know what that meant." – John Beckwith
13. "I almost nunchucked you; you don't even realize!" – Chazz Reinhold
14. "Todd, that's good! Tell that mean ocean!" – Secretary William Cleary
15. "You ready for some football? You want the noise brought on you because here it comes." – Flip
16. "This congregation really doesn't care about how depressing your life is, John." – Sack Lodge
17. "Of course, like all kids, I had imaginary friends. But not just one. I had hundreds and hundreds and all of them from different backgrounds who spoke different languages. One of them, his name was Caleb. He spoke a magical language only I could understand. [Starts speaking made-up language]" – Gloria Cleary

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Best Vince Vaughn Wedding Crashers Quotes

Whether you call him Jeremy Grey or his beloved nickname Baba Ganoush in Wedding Crashers, Vince Vaughn steals the show as the character with arguably the most popular quotes. Get ready to relive all the fun because "It's wedding season, kid!"

18. "Grab that net and catch that beautiful butterfly, pal."
19. "I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I've had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?"
20. "Who gives a sh*t? It's a great band, it's a bad band, it's like pizza, baby."
21. "Oh, that's terrific! Why don't you just feed me to the lions? Step on my head when I am drowning."
22. "This is the real world, lady! You can't just go shooting people on a whim!"
23. "I'm a little too traumatized to have a scone."
24. "A friend in need is a pest."
25. "I hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out! You selfish son of a b*tch! You leave me in the trenches taking grenades, John!"
26. "I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither are you."
27. "Get on in here, let the big bear get his paws on ya."
28. "Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating."

Best Owen Wilson Wedding Crashers Quotes

The other half of the iconic Wedding Crashers duo, Owen Wilson (also known as John Beckwith), helped make the movie memorable too. Below are all the lines Beckwitch said that made us laugh out loud.

29. "Grow up Peter Pan—Count Chocula."
30. "You better lock it up."
31. "I think he's on steroids. It's like trying to cover a f**king race horse."
32. "I love you. Yeah, you, big guy."
33. "You're unbelievable. Judas! Rule number five: You're an idiot."
34. "I don't know what red seven means. What is hot route?"
35. "Don't waste your time on girls with hats. They tend to be very proper."
36. "I'm sorry, Kitty Kat. Are you out of your f**king mind?"

Best Will Ferrell Wedding Crashers Quotes

Chazz Reinhold in Wedding Crashers, Will Ferrell's role, killed every scene he was in. Reinhold is the lovable idiot whose character switches from hooking up at nuptials to scoring big at funerals.

37. "Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac."
38. "Yeah. Dude died in a hang-gliding accident. What an idiot! 'Ahh! I'm hang-gliding! Honey, take a good picture...I'm dead!' What a freak."
39. "Hey, Ma! Can we get some meatloaf?"
40. "I'm just living the dream."
41. "It's like fishing with dynamite."
42. "So damn beautiful! With every death, there comes rebirth, it's the circle of life. We're gonna be all right."

Wedding Crashers Rules

Is your wedding guest calendar looking bleak? Don't fret! While the movie didn't cover all of them, we've rounded up some of the best Wedding Crashers rules you need to rock this wedding season.

• Rule #1: Never leave a fellow Crasher behind. Crashers take care of their own.
• Rule #2: Never use your real name.
• Rule #3: Never confess.
• Rule #4: No one goes home alone.
• Rule #5: Never let a girl come between you and a fellow Crasher.
• Rule #6: Draw attention to yourself, but on your own terms.
• Rule #7: Blend in by standing out.
• Rule #8: Be the life of the party.
• Rule #9: Whatever it takes to get in, get in.
• Rule #11: Sensitive is good.
• Rule #12: When it stops being fun, break something.
• Rule #13: Console the bridesmaids.
• Rule #14: You're a distant relative of a dead cousin.
• Rule #15: Fight the urge to tell the truth.
• Rule #16: Always have an up-to-date family tree.
• Rule #18: You love animals and children.
• Rule #19: Toast in the native language if you know the native language and have practiced the toast. Do not wing it.
• Rule #22: You have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. Period. No overtime.
• Rule #24: If you get outed, leave calmly. Do not run.
• Rule #25: You understand she heard that, but that's not what you meant.