How Long Do the First Dances Take? Here's What the Experts Recommend

Whether you're eagerly counting down the days until you get to display your dance skills or dreading showing off your two left feet, the questions around first dances remain the same. How long do the first dances take? When is the right time to debut the first dance? Is there an average first dance song length?

Your wedding day is one of the few times you're truly the center of attention, and, unless you grew up taking dance lessons, it's also one of the only times you'll have to dance with all eyes on you. But it doesn't have to be a stressful occasion! It can be short and sweet, including a few romantic moments to remember. You'll just need to do a little prep work beforehand.

Here's what the experts have to say about first dance logistics, first dance tips, and how you can turn this tradition from a nerve-wracking performance into a moment you'll never forget.

In this article:

• How Long Do First Dances Take?
• When Is the First Dance at a Wedding?
• FAQ About First Dance Length & Timing
• How to Enjoy Every Moment of Your First Dance
• Take Wedding Dance Lessons

How Long Do First Dances Take?

While there's no strict rule when it comes to first dance length, most wedding experts agree that there's no need to stay on the dance floor longer than you feel comfortable swaying to the music. Here are a few tips to help figure out just the right first dance song length.

Think Short and Sweet

Time passes slowly when you're the star of the show, and the ideal first dance is shorter than you might think. "We always say 60 to 90 seconds is the sweet spot for first dances. Two to three minutes doesn't sound like a long time until you've been out on the dance floor by yourselves for two to three minutes," says Annie Eifler, managing director and principal of Gulf Coast Entertainment based in Houston.

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Consider Your Comfort on the Dance Floor

How long you stay on the dance floor is totally your call, and the biggest consideration should be whether you actually want to be out there. Jodie Michele, founder and owner of The Villa in Virginia Beach, says, "If you're eager and confident to take the dance floor, three minutes is a great length of time. If you're a little more reserved, 90 seconds will do."

Choose a Song Based on Dance Length

Whether you're choosing a popular first dance song or an old favorite, you have two options. You can dance to the entirety of a short song or a section of a longer song (your wedding DJ can help navigate the decision!). "90% of our couples come to us first saying 'We don't have to dance the whole song, do we?'" says Devon Settembrini, owner of Connecticut-based All Sett Up.

How to Choose a Section of a Song

Want to dance to your favorite song but are not ready to commit to four minutes? Ask your DJ for the best way to split up the song so you can hear your favorite lines without overstaying your welcome on the dance floor. Settembrini explains, "We've had DJs help couples create a custom clip from the song to hit all their favorite parts, without having to dance for the duration of it."

Invite Your Guests to Join

If you are committed to the idea of a first dance, but you're feeling increasingly uneasy with the idea as the big day approaches, take the focus off yourself! Get out there, do a quick twirl, then, as Michele says, "Invite your guests to join you to ease any awkwardness."

When Is the First Dance at a Wedding?

While there is a traditional order of dances at a wedding, there are no rules. You can draw up your own creative wedding itinerary and hit the dance floor when it feels right for you.

Traditionally, Is the First Dance Before or After Dinner?

The first dance traditionally happens just as the reception is getting started. Guests make their way into the reception, and then the happy couple makes their debut. Michele explains, "A tried-and-true favorite is after guests are invited into the reception area and seated. The newlyweds are announced as a married couple and go straight into their first dance. It's a great way to kick off the reception, and the couple has all the attention of the seated guests."

How to Break Tradition with Your First Dance Timing

You're not bound by tradition when it comes to the first dance! If there's a transition moment in the order of events, you can use that as an opportunity to hit the dance floor for your first dance. Here are a few creative ideas to help you brainstorm when to do the first dance at your wedding.

During cocktail hour: Everybody is in a festive mood at cocktail hour, so why not use that as a chance to twirl around a few times? Settembrini says that she's had couples close out cocktail hour with their first dance. "We gather the guests, you dance, and then everyone moves right into dinner and more dancing! This is a great way to get everyone's attention."

During the first look: One of the more unconventional first dance alternatives is to skip the crowd altogether. Settembrini suggests using the first look for the first dance. "Have your photographer or planner have the song ready," Settembrini says. "They can play this on a Bluetooth speaker or even their phones. This is a more intimate moment, when you truly are alone together; there are no peeping eyes on you!"

Close out the party: If you want to dance when there's no one watching, perhaps shift your first dance to the last dance. Some couples will time their first dance with all of the guests hitting the dance floor, as Michele explains. But you can also shut down the dance floor—maybe even as the lights go down, taking a romantic moment to reflect as others head to the exit.

FAQ About First Dance Length & Timing

Want to step out onto the dance floor confidently? Here are a few frequently asked questions that will help you navigate planning the perfect first dance.

How should we pick a first dance song?

The best first dance songs are those that feel relevant to your relationship. Go for a unique first dance song over something chosen from a list of commonly played hits. Eifler says, "Find a song that means something to you as a couple. This is a great time to show off your personality. Have fun with it!"

Do we need to dance to the whole song?

You've had your heart set on Aerosmith's "I Don't Want a Miss a Thing" as your first dance song since elementary school, but at nearly five minutes long, you're starting to second-guess yourself. Eiffler reminds couples that they don't need to dance for the entire song—all you need is that memorable hook. "We recommend choosing a song with a memorable verse and chorus. Your guests will remember how much fun they had at your wedding when they hear the chorus play on the radio," Eiffler says.

How should we work with a band to learn our first dance song?

Most bands will learn your first dance song, but don't wait until the week before to mention it to them. Eiffler explains, "If you want your band to play your song live, give them your selections at least 30 to 45 days ahead of the big day so they can ensure enough time to prepare it and practice it to perfection."

Can we dance to a specific cut of a song?

Whether you've chosen a classic first dance song or something more unique, you can absolutely just pick the part that resonates with you. Work with the DJ or band to make sure the transition feels natural.

Should we choreograph our dance?

Absolutely! Choreographing your dance—or at least having a few specific dance moves in your back pocket—can do wonders for your confidence. "If you have a choreographed dance, it's always safest to dance to the exact recorded cut you learned your dance to. Make sure your DJ or band has the correct version to stream for you," Eiffler adds.

How to Enjoy Every Moment of Your First Dance

Your first dance should be an enjoyable moment for you two to connect and feel as if you're the only two in the room—even when you're surrounded by dozens or even hundreds of guests. Here are the experts' best tips for focusing on this time together rather than worrying about getting every footstep right.

Don't Be Afraid of Choreography

If you're nervous about not knowing what to do with your feet in the moment, then choreography can help set a framework for making all the right moves. Taking dance lessons together can also become a fun date night activity during your engagement! As Michele says, "A little artful choreography can help couples relax into the moment."

Choose a Song That Resonates With You

Hearing the first notes of a song that brings up nostalgic feelings can help ease your nerves, so choose a song based on what means the most to you, not what you've heard at other weddings. Michele explains, "Music has a sacred power. A song or a collection of songs that is meaningful to you and highlights your love will spark your connection and allow you to naturally dazzle."

Chat With Each Other

You shouldn't feel like you have to perform during your first dance. This is your moment. Talk, kiss, laugh. Act like you normally would! "I encourage the newlyweds to chat with each other during the dance. It can be whispers of sweet nothings or even a 'Phew, the hard part is done. Let's party,'" Michele says.

Practice, Practice, Practice

The best way to feel confident going into the first dance is to feel like you know what you're doing. And there's only one way to do that. Michele says, "Allow yourself the freedom to show your personality and practice, practice, practice!"

Don't Stress About It

At the end of the day, everyone paying attention to the first dance is just tearing up at the sentimental feelings of the moment. They're remembering their own first dance or hoping that they might have one someday. Settembrini says, "Focus on your partner. Focus on the song you chose, and just take in all the feels in that moment. If you step on your partner's toe, the night will go on, and you still can live happily ever after."

Take Wedding Dance Lessons

Feeling nervous about waltzing in front of a crowd? Taking wedding dance lessons is a fun date night activity in the months leading up to the wedding and it can help you feel more confident on your feet. Find the perfect wedding dance lesson instructor for you on The Knot Vendor Marketplace.