What Is Yap Trapping? The Conversation Tactic to Look Out For

You've likely heard about ghosting, but what about dawn dating, or the other Gen Z slang to enter the dating scene? It's called yap trapping (and no, it's not a good thing.) "Yap trapping is not always intentional. Maybe they're just nervous, and talking is how they cope," Emma Hathorn, relationship expert at Seeking says. "Maybe they're just highly unaware, and no one has ever been honest with them. Even with the benefit of the doubt, it can be a red flag, especially on a first date."

According to Hathorn, yap trapping can make the other person on a date not only feel ignored, but even disrespected—but what is yap trapping? And why is it so bad to do, or even worse, have done to you? Of all the dating trends, please, avoid this one at all costs.

In this article:

• What Is Yap Trapping?
• What to Do if Your Date Is Yap Trapping You
• How to Prevent Yap Trapping Your Date

What Is Yap Trapping?

Have you ever been on a date with someone who just won't stop talking? That is yap trapping. "Maybe they're telling a story or talking about their cat, and you're just sitting there, nodding, wondering if they'll ever ask about you," Hathorn explains. "That is yap trapping, when someone dominates the conversation so much that the other person feels like an observer, not a participant."

What to Do if Your Date Is Yap Trapping You

If you're stuck on a date where the other person just won't stop talking, don't panic. There are ways to shift the conversation without being rude. Try this, below.

Jump In

Maybe you're the one who is yap trapped (which is never fun). While it can feel nerve-wracking to be on the receiving end, build the courage to jump in and change things up. "Jump in when they take a breath and steer the conversation," Hathorn suggests. "Try saying, 'That's so interesting! That reminds me of…'"

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Use a Question to Redirect

Bad first date conversations? If so, it's time to redirect! Try saying something like, "That's a great story! What's something you might want to know about me?" Having to redirect isn't a bad thing, it can be a normal part of conversation.

Be Direct if Needed

If the other more subtle gestures aren't working, don't be afraid to be direct. Hathron suggests saying something like, "I feel like I haven't had the chance to share much. I'm also pretty nervous, but I'd love to answer any questions you might have about me."

"If they keep talking over you and even disregard you being honest with them, it might be a sign that they're more interested in hearing their own voice than actually connecting with someone," she says.

How to Prevent Yap Trapping Your Date

Maybe you've been yap trapped, but even worse, maybe you've been the yap trapper. If that's you, don't worry—we can help you crush your first date (in a good way). After all, a huge contributor to yap trapping unintentionally could be nerves, and there are ways to keep things balanced on that front.

Pause and Check In

Okay, if this is you, we advise you to pause and check in. And after all, who doesn't love a check in? Rather than yap trap your way out of a second date, checking in will make your date feel prioritized, seen and respected (and maybe make them feel like they'd continue to date you). So, after you share something, try asking them directly, "What about you?" Then, when they share, ask them follow-up questions and continue.

Watch Their Body Language

Body language is a big tell! Maybe you've been yapping away for a while, but they haven't said anything. Maybe they've turned their gaze away or they don't seem fully present with you. Look at their body. Is your date engaged or just politely smiling? If they looked checked out, then it's time to switch things up. Try redirecting yourself.

Ask More Questions

Listen: A good date is all about asking and receiving questions. They are conversation starters. Show you're genuinely interested in them and not just filling the silence, Hathorn suggests. "The best dates are a two-way street where both individuals feel heard, understood and excited to share more," she says. "So whether you're looking for a deep discussion, witty banter or just someone who actually listens, find like-minded, intentional daters who value the same."