Cynthia: In dating, we've had a lot of fun together!

Matthew: Yea, I totally agree and dating has been more fun than I imagined it would be. In fact, you’ve probably made me more fun through dating. You have have invited me into your world and circle of friends, and always made "social dating" a priority. Even super early on for our third date, you invited your friend Simu to join us and that trend has continued all the way until now -- you have a wide variety of different people in your life and you have shown me the importance of prioritizing individual relationships and bringing those relationships in to our relationship.

Cynthia: I think your serious side is oftentimes more on-display here in Boston, but I’ve enjoyed dating you and seeing your silly side. The serious side has come out through our countless hours of conversation -- in my kitchen, at your favorite restaurant, Eastern Standard, or going for long walks to talk through our dreams, thoughts and strategies relating to God, family, friends, forgiveness, service of others -- I don't think I've met another man with as many words as you have. Those moments have been pretty sweet and I've appreciated the intellectual intimacy we are developing. I appreciate how your serious nature and intensity in life can come out through fun and silly things -- like dancing in the kitchen. I completely forgot that in college I told friends that my ideal man was someone who could dance with me in the kitchen, and look! You’re that person. Who knew that your many years of rigorous practice and learning Cuban salsa dancing were making you to be my dance partner in the kitchen and in life. Ah....I know that sounds cheesy, but it's so true.

Matthew: Yea, you've done well to help me find the fun in my intensity. Like....my historical rejection of the notion that quirks can be endearing. You have definitely taught me to find adventure in the quirks. Like let's examine advantages vs. disadvantages of shoes on/off in the house, what's the "correct" way to cut an apple, and let's try to define 'clean' for the different aspects of daily living. I think my favorite has been practicing through the daily things - like that time I reorganized your kitchen pantry to see how you would react.

Cynthia: Oh boy, I didn't know that it was a test, but I agree that it was fun and that we learned a lot about each other. For example, you tend towards minimalism and purging non-essentials, while I learned "don't waste" and therefore, save everything.

Matthew: I have appreciated our cultural exchange during dating. You taught me how to do Chinese hot pot, how to find the best New England lobster roll, how to identify & understand ABC (American Born Chinese) tendencies, and even now a bit of Mandarin language.

Cynthia: I completely agree, I have enjoyed understanding how a Midwestern upbringing looks in small Iowa town that's 1 mile wide x 1 mile long - UFFDA, that's small!

Matthew: I remember how early on, we specifically called out "alignment over acceptance" in all aspects of our relationship. Alignment is a higher bar -- maybe we're young and foolish, but we were both OK to aim high. You have fulfilled your end of the bargain and it has been fun to work on aligning with you -- especially given our difference of cultural backgrounds.

Cynthia: Yea, I've become aware that our difference of cultural backgrounds has manifested via our different methods of & approaches to communication. It feels funny that we actually sat and practiced talking with each other to learn how to communicate expectations, to slow down and be more methodical to articulate a point or an idea, and to speak our own assumptions in an area so as to bring pre-conceived notions out in to the open. But I know it's good for us to grow like this area, and ultimately it's been fun (even though a bit annoying in the moment).

Matthew: Yep, this diligence in communication is sometimes less aligned with modern images of romantic-Disney dating, but it feels good that we are building a solid foundation. For me, the most fun part of our dating has been our inclusion of other married couples in our own dating process. Having the opportunity to share a meal, wine and conversation with married couples who have weathered many storms and to hear their advice and reminisce on their stories has meant the world to me.

Cynthia: Oh I totally agree. Many of those couples will be at our wedding, and I feel secure in the thought of marrying you under their blessing and guidance that we are heading in the right direction.

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