Our Wedding Day includes a meaningful and festive collection of special Jewish customs and traditions developed over thousands of years according to Jewish law. Please arrive at 4:00 p.m. for the beginning of wedding festivities.

Kabbalat Panim - Reception/Greeting Guests Jewish tradition likens the bride and groom to royalty. As king and queen for the day, Evan and Naomi will each “hold court” in separate areas. Evan, the ḥatan (Hebrew for groom) will hold a tisch (Yiddish for table), where the men will greet and toast him and sing songs. In the meantime, Naomi, the kallah (Hebrew for bride) will be escorted by her mother and her future mother-in-law to the badeken room, in which she will sit on a throne between her mother and Evan’s mother while guests line up to greet her. Guests can also ask her for a bracha (blessing), as Jewish tradition tells us that couples have a special in with God on their wedding day. The atmosphere is energetic, with plentiful food.

Tisch and Ketubah Signing - The Table and Marriage Contract The writing and signing of the ketubah (the marriage contract) is a custom that dates back to the first century B.C.E. As required by Jewish law, this document attests to the legal commitments and moral obligations that Evan makes to Naomi, his future wife, and is the oldest document in the world protecting women's rights. The ketubah is signed at the Tisch. After the signing, both Naomi’s mother and Evan’s mother together will break a plate, symbolizing the seriousness of the commitment between the parties, as a broken plate cannot be made unbroken.

Badeken - The Veiling Starting at the badeken (Yiddish for veiling), guests will repeatedly sing Od Yeshama; the song will be repeated dozens of times throughout the rest of the wedding: “‘Od y’shama b’arei Yehuda u v’chutzot Yerushalayim: kol sason v’kol simchah, kol chatan v’kol kallah!” In English, it means, “As yet will be heard in the cities of Judea and the parts of Jerusalem—the sound of joy and the sound of gladness, the sound of grooms and the sound of brides.” Evan will be escorted to Naomi in a procession by the men singing and dancing. As the men approach, women will start singing as well. Evan will approach Naomi to veil his bride; in doing so he will have ascertained Naomi's identity and confirmed that he is indeed marrying his beloved. Naomi's father will then approach and bless her. Following the veiling, the marriage ceremony is ready to begin.

The Ḥuppah - The Marriage Ceremony Naomi and Evan will be married under a ḥuppah (Hebrew for canopy), symbolizing the home they will build together. The ḥuppah has no walls, reflecting that family and friends are welcome in their home. Evan will be escorted to the ḥuppah by his parents. Naomi will also be escorted to the ḥuppah by her parents.

Hakafot Naomi, accompanied by her mother and Evan’s mother, will circle the groom under the ḥuppah seven times. There are two interpretations of this custom: this is the number of days of creation and the wedding ceremony is the creation of a new household. The number seven is also the number of times that the phrase “when a man takes a wife” occurs in the Torah. When Naomi has finished circling Evan, she stands at his right, in remembrance of the verse, “At my right hand does the queen stand.” (Psalms 45:10).

Blessings of Betrothed (Erusin) The Erusin begins with the recitation of two blessings. The first is recited over the wine, a Jewish symbol of joy and sanctification of a celebratory time. The second expresses the sacredness of the marital bond. Evan and Naomi then drink from the same cup of wine, symbolizing their commitment to share their lives.

The Ring In Jewish law, marriage takes place when the ḥatan gives the kallah a ring and recites in Hebrew: “Thus you are sanctified to me—with this ring—according to the law of Moses and Israel.” The ring is a simple band with neither beginning nor end, symbolizing Evan and Naomi’s never-ending love and commitment. It is Evan’s giving and Naomi’s acceptance of the ring that joins them as husband and wife.

The Reading of the Ketubah The Ketubah is read aloud in the original Aramaic and sometimes with English translation. It is then given to Naomi to keep, confirming her acceptance of its terms.

The Sheva B’rachot (Nissuin) The Sheva B’rachot (Hebrew for seven blessings) put the marriage in a historical and spiritual context and bless God for the following: 1) the blessing over wine; 2) the creation of the world; 3) the creation of humanity; 4) the wisdom, intelligence, and free will with which every person is endowed; 5) the joy and happiness of Zion; 6) the joy of the bride and the groom; and 7) a wish for the couple’s delight, cheer, love, harmony, peace, and companionship in their lives together. Then Evan and Naomi drink from the second cup of wine.

The Breaking of the Glass At the conclusion of the ceremony, Evan will crush a glass (wrapped in a cloth napkin) beneath his feet. According to Jewish tradition, this act reminds us of the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem—that life is fragile and that even in times of great joy we must not forget the history (albeit tragic) that is so central to our people’s identity.

Yiḥud (Seclusion) Immediately following the ceremony, Naomi and Evan will enter the yiḥud room alone for a minimum of ten minutes. This form of seclusion of a man with a woman is generally only permitted in Jewish Law to a married couple. In the context of the wedding, it allows the couple to savor the first few moments of married life together. Two people from the wedding party are posted at the door to bear witness to the fact that Naomi and Evan spend the time alone without interruption. After yicḥud, the couple will return to the guests.

Se'udah - The Wedding Reception and Meal While the couple are in the yiḥud room, the guests begin the celebratory meal. It is a mitzvah (Hebrew for commandment) for guests to bring simḥah (Hebrew for joy) to the ḥatan and the kallah on their wedding day; this includes an elaborate meal and dancing. The courses of the meal will be served between rounds of dancing.

Entrance and Circle Dancing As the newlyweds enter the reception room, they are greeted by traditional dancing and singing. In accordance with Jewish tradition, men and women dance in separate circles separated by a meḥitzah (Hebrew for partition) to allow for celebration within the bounds of modesty. It is customary for as many of the guests as possible to dance individually with the bride and groom in the center of their respective circles and we encourage every guest to join in.

Shtick - Entertaining the Bride and Groom At several points during the dancing, Naomi and Evan are brought together to be entertained with shtick (silliness) by the guests. The essence of wedding shtick is the charades-like enactment of inside jokes between the bride and/or groom and friends and family. Such humor generally makes reference to shared experiences and involves the use of homemade props such as costumes, t-shirts, wigs, flags, and posters. All guests are encouraged to join in! As music will be playing during this time, shtick is predominantly visual and does not involve auditory components.

Secular (Non-Circle) Dancing The meḥitzah will be removed for dancing to secular music.

Bentsching - Recitation of the Blessings After Meals A communal recitation of the Grace after Meals (bentsching means benediction in Yiddish) follows the meal; a repetition of the Sheva B’rachot (seven blessings) follows as well.

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